Wedding etiquette is the elephant in the room that we all would prefer to avoid noticing and confronting at all costs. But if you let that elephant hang around too long, he will drop significantly large elephant faeces from a great height. You don’t want this.
We decided to create this short guide as an introductory lesson to wedding etiquette. Later in the near future we can elaborate and dive deep into certain issues that require more than a paragraph. But we sincerely do hope that this little guide gives you insight as to how to approach and possibly avoid this proverbial elephant all together.
There’s actually a lot more issues then we had anticipated upon writing this blog post so we’ve decided to break it down in easily digestible parts.
try not to revert back to your undergraduate mentality where you want them to pay your rent just so you could live in a trendy suburb
1. Gate Crashers
Uninvited wedding guests are the adult version of those teenagers who’d rock up to birthday parties. While their objectives aren’t as immature as spiking the punch, their intentions are fully self-centred. We do however, understand that some people (often your single friends) automatically assume that they can bring a “partner”. There have also been reports that this “partner” was chosen just for this event in particular! I guess people like to take advantage of a wedding as a kind of “free first date”.
Solution: Clear and concise instructions on the invitations. You don’t have to write a lengthy disclaimer but have it so there’s no room for interpretation. Use words in sentences like “only” and “strictly” or even “no (insert clause here)”. If people do manage to show up with no prior RSVP, then you have every right to deny them entry or politely ask them if they would be fine with paying for their meal and drinks.
2. He Pays, She Pays
Not so much wedding etiquette but rather financial etiquette. This is obviously a case by case basis in regards to who pays for the wedding. I think you would find that most couples would rather pay their own way, rather than relying on their parents. either way, for many people, this subject can be hard to bring up.
Solution: Sure, parents are generally more than happy to help but if you have been living together for a couple of years independantly, then as a good kid, try not to revert back to your undergraduate mentality where you want them to pay your rent just so you could live in a trendy suburb. If its your significant other than you’re hesitating with then perhaps you should 2nd guess the wedding alltogether? Marriage is when two become one, even the government sees it that way. You have to be able to get through money matters with ease coz there’s going to be loads of money matters in future.
That’s the end of part 1. Stay tuned for part 2 in a few days! Also we’d love to hear from people with real experiences in dealing with wedding etiquette and other awkward situations.